A Head Full Of Plush

As I talked to B. more than a week ago, we shortly covered the topic of people lingering in their current states without the ability to develop further even though they most certainly do bring the potential to hone their talents far more than they actually do.

Just to clarify this: I do not mind anyone making an active decision to lingering. Choosing to not actively develop further is a valid decision in everybody's life, one should just do it in full consciousness that he himself is responsible for making a decision like that, for setting his priorities to this way of living. It's not something that other people impose on you... because they can't. That doesn't mean one can reach whatever he wants or that one can do whatever he likes. It doesn't mean that it would be an easy ride.

Discussing the topic with my friend I stated that it's quite important to keep up a steady flow of work to be even able to develop. Suspending work, study, social interaction or better, the confrontation with problematic occurences to solve, drowns the ability to actively reach better states of being. This steady flow is what I call activity momentum.

One of the main problems of gaining sufficient activity momentum is not necessarily the ability to fail. It's more likely the fact that with a certain amount of momentum it's getting increasingly difficult to get better. One has to gather more information, has to work more accurate, has to look more closely which actually results in more work and less free time. Not having enough spare time is an essential killer to gaining momentum and for improvement. It's like driving a car at high speed. To go faster you need to burn much more gasoline.

Honestly, I admire the guys out there being able to keep burning hotter than the average. In the last years lingering helped me avoiding the fact that I am not using the full scale of my abilities - I didn't have to. Therefore I haven't been developing as much as I could have - not pushing myself to the edge, I had been comfortable with that. But now (now as in the "the last two years") working and studying made me accelerate to the tipping point in my curve of activity momentum. At work I encounter reoccuring problems which I solved before and which I do not want to solve over and over again. Same with my social life, my everyday procedures and my university stuff. It steals time from me. I hate reoccuring problems to which I have to apply an old, proven formula - I need this automated and away from me so I'd be able to tackle new and more interesting problems and puzzles. To have these things automated I need to raise my activity momentum.

It sucks seeing an interesting state from afar with quite a bunch of stones in the way to get there. It sucks even more to crush those stones because that's the last thing you wanna do. But you need to crush them because if you don't you would not understand the map which leads you to the state you long for. If you'd reach the state without knowing how you got there you would not be able to keep it. You would not be able to improve it. You would not be able to build something new.